Retail Stores

Retail Stores! Shopping for groceries, electronics and some everyday items for the household.

Sounds like fun, right. Wrong! Having fun shopping, when an irritable sensation starts flooding my tummy. Suddenly I look at my watch and know it will take about fifteen minutes to get home, another fifteen minutes to get through a line and I’m not even finished shopping (cry face). Stress mounts as I walk aisle to aisle, doing my best to wait until I’m home. Then, I meet the obstacle course of children as they fly around aisles, running back and forth, which is irritating enough as I do my best not to think about using the restroom. But, no, I will embark on the inevitable quest to the public Target restroom.

Target’s bathroom is an unexpected and an unwelcomed visit that could be delayed no longer. As I entered, I found the scenery hindered by some uncomfortable elements – at first look, I noticed a soap dispenser that’s out of soap (monkey face with hands covering). Was this the start of Judgement Day for me??? As I continued my distressed pace to the stall, I noticed a lovely loud yellow ‘caution’ sign with a wet spot underneath. My heart beat stars growing stronger as I pass and enter the stall.

Then, it happens, and when I say it, I mean Shit Happens! I glance down and notice some fecal specs under the toilet seat that the automatic flushing unit won’t simply cleanse away. The toilet water is drowning in paper that is filled to the brim – loud cries flood the voices in my head. What Chocolate Stain Blaine visited this stall? Was it food poisoning, the flu, am I going to catch something? Get me out of here…. Runnnnnnn people run, the caution sign was warning me of my impending doom and I should have listened!

But, it was only one stall. The other stalls could have been well maintained, but my thought, can I hold the filling sensation long enough to drive the tumultuous quest home. Short answer, NO. I must relieve myself. So, I calmly turn back around from the stall – look around the overall bathroom space, as I don’t want anyone thinking it was me who created this ‘gift.’ Coast is clear, I walk three stalls down and enter. Much better. I’m in and out, using squat formation. Who knows what cooties are flying around this atmosphere.

 

Visiting Canada

While visiting Canada – the friendliest place on Earth (apparently… sorry Disneyland) – I am asked to visit a ‘popping’ local venue where friendly,…

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